One for all…

There are certainly many ways by which to describe someone’s personality. There are many, many facets to each of us, each one of them a potential yardstick. Here is one that came to me along the way, that I think of as useful on myself as well as others. It’s a good way to measure, or choose, one’s own “personal philosophy,” meaning in this case, “What kind of person am I?” or “What kind of person do I want to be?”

It’s based on these two statements, both of which are true.

1. We are all on our own.

2. We are all in this together.

Somehow, these two thoughts have to co-exist, and how you choose to manage that says a lot about who you are.

At any given moment you are either acting in your own interests (on our own), or for the benefit of more than just yourself (in this together). The balance you find between the two reveals some basic truths about your personality.

-----------1----------------444444555555666666---------------9-----------

Let’s say this line represents everything you face in life; every encounter, every task, every decision, every action. How do you react? Always for yourself? Half the time for yourself, the other half for the group? Your position on the line is determined by how you react to the Life that you face. When you do something, even when you say something, your approach to it will come from either the ”on our own” part of you (Zero on the line), or from the “in this together” part (100 on the line). If you are a very giving, group-oriented person, a helping, altruistic sort, you would find yourself near the “1” on the line, which means that maybe 10% of the time you act with only yourself in mind, with unusual emphasis on others. (Sure, it’s necessary to be selfish some of the time; this is just to make a general point, not to argue actual percentages.)

On the other end, if you act almost exclusively with just yourself in mind, with little regard for others, you might find your balance between the two sides at about “9”.

Most of us fall somewhere in the middle, in the 4-5-6 range, and anywhere in there, or somewhere in there, is normal. At the extremes, you have a personality trait that is readily observed; you might be selfish, or you might be selfless to a fault, not thinking of yourself enough.

Realizing where you fit on that line can be a helpful insight. It tells you if you are the person you think you are, or if you’re falling short of that.

Am I selfish? Too selfish? What is too selfish? It also applies to others, by judging where they fit on the line, and it can be used to explain behavior, if a “1” or a “9” makes an unexpected choice.

There are these two pieces of the trait of “largess,” shall we say, and they are mutually exclusive, (for purposes of this discussion, for argument’s sake, to make the broader point)…(sure, there may be examples when both are applicable, Life always has some fuzzy gray on the edges of description, but by and large) and with every choice and every action you’re standing on one side or the other. There’s no raging battle between the two, it’s no classic struggle, but it’s a useful way to look at yourself and others to help understand a part of who this person is.